"Two Whores" joke
Two whores were talking shop...
"Why is it," asked Sharon, "that I get as many customers as you, and yet you seem to make a lot more money than me?"
"Well, I'll let you in on a little trick," said Tracy. "What I do is, before I go out, I take a rubber band and stick it up my self. Then when I get a bloke back to my flat and he starts doing the business, it goes ping. I tell him he's just broken my virginity. I usually get an extra $20 for that!"
"I'll give that a try," says Sharon.
She does and it works just fine. Unfortunately, one day as she was getting ready, she found that the bag of rubber bands was empty. She searched around, but all she could find was a catapult. She carfully inserted the catapult and set off for work. Having returned with a fella, Sharon spread them and as the bloke got going there was the usual ping.
"You've just broken my virginity!" said Sharon.
"Screw that," said the punter. "My balls have just flown out of the window!"
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...