Rubber Jokes

You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess"

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began more...

"Doctor, my fiance and I are getting married this weekend, and he thinks I'm still a virgin," the woman said. "Can you do anything to help me?"
"Medically, no," replied the doctor. "Try this: When you're getting ready for bed on your wedding night, slide a thick rubber band around your upper thigh. When he enters you, snap the rubber band and explain to him that it's your cherry popping."
On their wedding night, the bride undressed in the bathroom and slid the rubber band around her thigh. The couple then got into bed and began to make love. When her husband entered her, she snapped the rubber band right on cue.
"What the hell was that?" exclaimed the husband.
"That was my cherry popping," she explained.
"Well, could you snap it again?" he moaned. "It's got my balls!"

A man and his wife and their eight children are waiting at a bus stop. Not long after, a blind man joins the group.
The bus arrives. After the wife and eight children get on, there's no more room, so the blind man and the husband are forced to walk.
As they're walking together, the tapping of the blind man's stick begins to get on the other man's nerves. Finally, he growls, "You know, that really is very aggravating! Why don't you put a rubber on the end of that stick?"
"Listen, buddy," the blind man retorts, "if you had put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd both be on that bus!"

A big-time executive walked into a bar and sat down next to a drunk who was studying something in his hand. The executive leaned closer as the drunk held the object up to the light. "Well, it looks like plastic," the drunk said. Then rolled it around in his fingers and added, "and it feels like rubber." Curious the executive asked, "What do you have there?" The drunk shook his head. "Damned if I know. It looks like plastic and feels like rubber!" The executive said, "Let me take a look." He examined it, rolled it between his fingers and said, "Yeah, you're right. It does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?" The drunk replied, "Out of my nose!"