"Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami..." joke
Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami.They were discussing the fact that if they gofor a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, theywill get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girlwalking out of the ocean. She reaches into the topof her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly drycigarette and book of matches and lights up. Theladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keepyour cigarettes dry?" Her answer, "I put them insideof a condom." The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for acondom. When the pharmacist asks, "What size?" one ofthe ladies says, "It should fit a Camel."
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...