"Two thieves" joke
once, these two thefts went to heaven. when they reached the golden gates of heaven they met saint peter. "NAMES PLEASE!" saint peter exclaimed since he saw the two guys were black. he got there names but didnt see their names in the book so he went to god and ask "God there are these two coloured guys at the gates should we let them in?" "of course st peter there is no racisum in heaven," God replied. so peter went and returned huffing and puffing"God GGGod there gone" "who the coloured people" "NO, the golden gates"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.