"U.S Marine" joke
It was 5: 00 in the morning at the U. S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellowed, "This is a birthday suit inspection. I wanna see y'all formed up outside butt naked now!" So the soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up into three ranks. The sarge walked out and yelled, "Close up the ranks; conserve your body heat!" So the men closed in tightly. The captain came along with his swagger stick. He went to the first soldier and whacked him right across the chest with it. "Did that hurt?" he yelled. "No, sir!" came the reply. "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, sir!" The sergeant was impressed and walked on to the next man. He took the stick and whacked the soldier right across the rear. "Did that hurt?" "No, sir!" "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, sir!" Still extremely impressed, the captain walked to the third guy and noticed he had an enormous erection. Naturally, he gave this new target a huge WHACK with the swagger stick. "Did that hurt?" "No, sir!" "And why not?" "Because it belongs to the guy behind me, sir!"
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