"Upmanship" joke
An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life.
Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.
Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.
Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!
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