"Variations On Chicken Road Crossings" joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answers below...

AL GORE

I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.

I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road!

I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.

I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide.

The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN

I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way.

Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY

Chickens are big-time because they have wings.

They could fly if they wanted to.

Chickens don't want to cross the road.

They don't need help crossing the road.

In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER

Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers.

Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them.

Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

What do you mean by "chicken"?

Could you define "chicken" please?

FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay!

Isn't it obvious?

Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?

The chicken was going to the "other side."

That's what "they" call it - the "other side".

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.

And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.

I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side".

That chicken should not be free to cross the road.

It's as plain and simple as that.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man.

The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -

and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!

The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens,

and He said unto the chicken,

"Thou shalt cross the road."

And the chicken crossed the road,

and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?