"Wedding Vows" joke

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows," the groom said. "When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
The day of the wedding arrived, and they reached the part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked him in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every wish and command, serve her breakfast in bed each and every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped, looked around, and replied in a meek voice, "Yes."After the wedding, the groom pulled the pastor aside and hissed, "I thought we had a deal!"
The pastor put the $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered, "Sorry, son, she made me a much better offer."

At a gynecologists convention Dr. Goldfinger began to read his paper on "The Variation of the Clitoris".
"One of the most unusual cases I ever came across," he told his audience, "was a clitoris that had a close resemblance to a more...

13
5

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

465
213

Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone from her stroll in the woods way too long.
So the two of them went looking for her.
After a while they spotted a gigantic, more...

3
2

A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...

33
7

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...

74
16
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
xavier:sure
0
0
(0)
xavier:somebody pissed on ur hairline
0
0
(0)
xavier:hellllllllllllllllllllllloo
0
0
(0)
xavier:thats not what yomama said
Funny Joke? 25 vote(s). 68% are positive. 4 comment(s).