"When you need to knock" joke

Flugg`s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.

Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor`s course.

Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.

Franklin`s Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.

Freeman`s Commentary on Ginsberg`s theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg`s Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

Fresco`s Discovery: If you knew what you were doing, you`d probably be bored.

Fudd`s First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will fall over.