"Where's My Rolex?" joke
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?"
A panicky passenger on the Titanic:
Passenger: Captain, captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?
Captain: Two Miles.
Passenger: In which direction?
Captain: Towards the bottom!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were...
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like more...
A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad...
"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you rec'un so?"
"Why that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responses.
The next day the kid gets home more...