"Why its good to be single" joke

1.Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
2.I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants
3.I could leave the toilet seat in any position I want
4.I could actually tell the bartender If anyone calls I'm here
5.I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
6.When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.
7.I could show my girlfriend where I live.
8.I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
9.The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.
10.I would have saved alot of money in groceries by now.
11.I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.
12.I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.
13.You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day
14.Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws
15.I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films
16.I could use my own name at hotels
17.When asked my opinion, a single guy can say Hell yes, you're fat!