"Wired Shut" joke
Jim was in a terrible wreck. He was taken to the hospital where he remained comatose for two weeks and when he awake he was ravenous. Finding the call button he rang for the nurse and asked if he could have something to eat.
She told him, "You have a broken jaw and it is wired shut. I can't think of anything that you could eat in that condition."
"Well, could I' pwease' have a cup of coffee?" Jim asked through his clenched jaw.
"We'll try," the nurse told him. "Maybe we can get a straw between your teeth."
But try as they would, it just wouldn't go. Jim grumbled and moaned and swore he was going to die without coffee until the nurse finally said, "Maybe we could give it to you in an enema."
She fixed up the syringe and began to administer it when suddenly Jim winced and drew up.
"Is it too hot?" the nurse asked.
"No, but could you please put some sugar in it?"
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