"Xmas top ten signs you won't be receiving a christmas bonus this year" joke

"Signs You Won't Be Receiving a Christmas Bonus This Year"
As presented on the 12/11/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial
On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the supply closet"
Boss's Christmas card says, "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out"
You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants
When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under avalanche of stolen office supplies
Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw
In your most recent performance evaluation, the word "crap" appeared 78 times
You're the starting quarterback for the New York Jets