"You can`t win" joke

You can`t win. You can`t break even. You can`t quit the game.

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

You get the most of what you need the least.

You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You`ll learn a lot today.

You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue; agree with him.

You never find an article until you replace it.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never want the one you can afford.

You remember to mail a letter only when you`re nowhere near a mailbox.

You want it when?

You will always find something in the last place you look.