"You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When..." joke
*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you*You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked *You grind your coffee beans in your mouth *You sleep with your eyes open *You have to watch videos in fast-forward *You lick your coffee pot clean*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze *The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse *You can type sixty words a minute with your feet *You can jump-start your car without cables *Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low" *You don't sweat, you percolate *You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug *You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee *You've worn the finish off you coffee table *The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you *Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house *You're so wired you pick up FM radio *Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans" *Instant coffee takes too long *You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can *You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar" *Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position *Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup
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