"You May Be A Farmer If..." joke

- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

- You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

- You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

- You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

- You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

- You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

- You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

- You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

- You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

- You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

- You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

- You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

- You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.

- You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.