"You Might Be A Lutheran If... #2" joke
...a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.. ..you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.. ..the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.. ..you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then.. ..you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite.. ..your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.. ..you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.. ..in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!", you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...