"You Might Be A Lutheran If... #10" joke
...your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as "the holy city.". ..at Thanksgiving you serve lutefisk and try to convince your kids it's really a turkey.. ..you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.. ..the only mealtime prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus.". ..you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.. ..you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.. ..at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you.". ..you can't get into heaven without a casserole.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!