"You Might Be A Redneck If..." joke

... the diploma displayed in your den contains the words 'Trucking Institute'.
... there's page numbers on your toilet paper.
... you've ever been involved in a custody battle over a dog.
... you've ever been too drunk to fish.
... you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only need to buy one gift.
... you use flea and tick soap to bathe.
... your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
... the guests on the Jerry Springer show remind you of your neighbors.
... jack Daniels is on your 'most admired people' list.
... your lawn chairs are in the kitchen and your stove in on the porch.
... you carry a fishing pole into Sea World.
... you think turtleneck is a soup ingredient.
... your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
... your favorite sofa came out of a Chevrolet.
... you do your Christmas shopping at the dollar store.
... you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
... your truck has curtains, but your house doesn't.
... going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on a jacket and shoes and carrying a flashlight.
... you go to your family reunions to pick up chicks.
... the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than you do.
... your bicycle has a gun rack.
... you plant flowers in a bathroom fixture on your front lawn.
... the Salvation Army refused your mattress.
... your father walks you to school because both of you are in the same grade!
... MOTEL 6 turn their lights off when they see you coming.