"You may be a redneck pilot if" joke

Your stall warning horn plays "Dixie."
Your cross country flight plan uses Flea Markets as check points.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You've ever used moonshine as avgas.
You have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
You think GPS stands for "Going Perfectly Straight."
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
You constantly confuse "Beechnut" with "Beechcraft."
The NTSB report quotes you as saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!" just before "uncontrolled descent into terrain."
You've ever taxied around the airport drinking beer.
You use a Purina Sack as a windsock.
You fuel your aircraft from a mason jar.
You wouldn't be caught dead flying a Grumman "Yankee."
You refer to Flying in Formation as, "We got ourselves a convoy!"
There is a sign on the side of your airplane advertising your cousin's septic tank service.
The set of matched luggage you take on cross contry flights is three grocery sacks from the same Piggly Wiggly.