"You might be a preacher if..." joke

You might be a preacher if...You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover who you were.You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.A church picnic is no picnic.You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.You've ever wanted to give the soundman some feedback of your own.You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you weren't thinking of praying for him.You often feel like you're herding mules rather than shepherding sheep.Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone's happy when it ends!You've never preached on TV, but your wife made you get down before you break something.It's your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

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