"You might be addicted to the web if..." joke

You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.
You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are online again.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.
Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome.
You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.
You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization or complete sentences...
You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was busy, you claim it was off the hook.
You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (another all-night online session).
You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail."
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 words per minute.
You have withdrawls if you are away from a machine for more than a few hours.
You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer when you log on.
You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you have your first cup of coffee.
Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you've had.
You type faster than you think.
You want to be buried with your computer when it dies... or vice versa.