"Don`t say to security" joke

The Top 10 Things You Should Not Say To A Security Guard When Caught Stealing Coins From A Mall Fountain
& & 1. "Isn`t there a robbery at the Orange Julius you should be investigating?"
& & 2. I`m searching for a hard to find 1998 nickel."
& & 3. "DUH!! The Gap is having a sale!"
& & 4. "Did you know that it now costs 35 cents to make a phone call?"
& & 5. "Thanks idiot... I had just made a wish that I could clean the fountain out and not get caught! Way to ruin that wish!!"
& & 6. "Have you seen that really cool gumball machine in the food court? It rolls down a spiral ramp!"
& & 7. "I`m at the last level of Mortal Kombat IV and I need another quarter."
& & 8. "I`m trying to match the exact amount of your worthless paycheck you Barney Fife wannabe!"
& & 9. "See.. I need a quarter to make a phone call to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous sponsor and that`s why I`m stealing the quarters in the fountain. I NEED HELP MAN!!!"
& 10. "Ummmm... I`m looking for beer money?"