"halloween costumes" joke
...retailers are reporting that the 3 most popular Halloween costumes for 2009 are Harry Potter, Star Trek, and the Bernie Madoff. The Bernie Madoff costume kit comes with 3 flies which you put on your shoulder and then go as a piece of shit.
Rabbi Levine is walking slowly out of a Shul in Golders Green when a gust of wind blows his hat down the street. He's an old man and can't walk fast enough to catch his hat. Across the street, Bernie sees what's happening, rushes over, grabs the hat and returns it to Rabbi more...
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey... My Love... Darling... Sweetheart... Pumpkin, etc.Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all more...
Bernie Mac announced he is retiring from stand-up comedy.
After hearing this Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia decided to do the professional thing and divided up his jokes evenly.
What a coincidence!
Moishe and Bernie are walking down Regents Street when Moishe suddenly says to Bernie, "Don`t look! Don`t look! Here comes my wife and my mistress."
Bernie sneaks a peak and says, "What a coincidence, I was going to say the same more...