Recent Jokes

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.

She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?"

The husband replies, "Well, not exactly - it's her that suffers, not me."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

I wanted to get a dog for my son. But the pet shop doesn't do swaps.