toy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Please circle the letter that best describes your response.
1. When dinner is served, what do you say?
A. Is the turkey done? How are the mashed potatoes? Could I
make some more gravy?
B. I get first pick! I paid for that turkey.
C. Who needs their wine topped off?
D. I want to open presents first.
E. Please pass the salad, and no, I’m not dating anybody.
F. Why is everybody here? It’s not my birthday, is it?
G. Are you going to finish that? I’ll be glad to finish
that for you.
2. When opening gifts, what do you say?
A. I’m going to save this pretty wrapping paper.
B. I paid $57. 95 for that and he’s playing with the box!
Play with the toy!!
C. I don’t need another 12-step book.
D. This stinks! I wanted a pokeasurusmon game.
E. Oh, great. Another tablecloth. I can use this while
eating take-out every night.
F. This is a wonderful hat. I can keep my government
secrets in more...

In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks1. [xxx] is not food. Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human's homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom's toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat's vomited food. 2. I will not jump on the [xxx]. kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human's full bladder at 5: 30 A. M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night. 3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx]. sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss's leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires. 4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx]. floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor, TV, baby's mattress, kitchen more...

Nintendo is planning to introduce a new toy for Christmas. It called the Game Girl.
Game Girl is not suitable for boys below 15 years. Game Girl is available in two versions; the pocket Game Girl and the Game Girl 64. With the introduction of the new toy Nintendo hopes that its sales would double by the end of' 98.

There once was aboy named Johnny who went into a toy store, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me litlle boy this is not real money".
Little jhonny walked towards the exit without giving a reply. the shopkeeper repeated himself and Jhonny kept walking. The third time shopkeeper said "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money ".
Jhonny lookes at the plane in his hands, looks at the shopkeeper and finally said "This isn't a real plane too".

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.

"Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.

"It's designed to adjust the tot to live in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied....

"Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."

On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He more...

1689--Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp.
1691--Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew abandons him.
1692--Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit.
1703--Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp, half-buried but still intact.
1704--Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts, and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar base.
1705--Claus returns again to the North Pole, and builds quarters for him and his crew, and sets up the Polar Exports Company.
1716--After six shiploads of exports, the European market is flooded with polar artifacts, as more...