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A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention. ... "

Morris the agent of a beautiful actress discovered one day that the actress had been selling her body for 100 dollars a night.

The agent, who had long lusted after her, hadn't dreamed that she had been so easily obtainable.

He approached her, told her how much she turned him on, and how much he wanted to make it with her.

She agreed to spend the night with him but said that he would have to pay her the same 100 dollars that the other customers did.

He scratched his head, considered it, and then Morris asked, "Don't I even get my agent's 10% as a deduction?"

"No, siree," she said. "If you want it, you're going to have to pay full price for it just like the other Johns."

Morris the agent didn't like that at all, but he agreed.

That night, she came to his apartment after her performance at a local nightclub. The agent made love to her at midnight, after turning out all the more...

1300. 01 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout “whiplash”, “ambulance”, or “free Perrier” for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to more...

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man:
“Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I’m very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear? ”
So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.
“Are you stupid or something??? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn’t, so I want my money back! ”
While the more...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more that 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes life 100%?
Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
If the letters of the alphabet are represented as numbers, as below:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
and
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%
But
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
and
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.
And, look how far this will take you!
A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 =127%

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After drafting a will for an elderly client, the attorney announced a fee of $100.
The client gave the attorney a $100 bill.
After the client left, the attorney saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.
Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

Yesterday, after extensive testing, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones... yes, it's true. To prove their theory, the scientists had 100 men consume 12 bottles of beer. They then observed that 100% of them: 1: Gained weight. 2: Talked excessively without making sense. 3: Became emotional. 4: Called home just to see if anyone called. 5: Couldn't drive. 6: Went to the bathroom in groups. 7: Rearranged the furniture for no apparent reason. No further testing is planned.