1949 Jokes

1)Sept. 17, 1955: Young Michael Jagger gets his lips caught in a Coke bottle for several hours.2)September 8, 1949: In Bavaria, Richard Strauss dies.
September 8, 1949: In Greece, Milos Muzak is born.3)November 17, 1984: "Don't worry, Mr. Dylan, the novocaine will wear off *LONG* before your recording session."4)October 31, 1975: At a costume party in Greenwich Village, a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop and a cowboy all decide, "This is too much fun to do just once a year!"5)July 23, 1956: Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, "Boy, you're nothin' but skin and bones. You better put on some weight, or people are gonna think you're sick!"6)June 7, 1966: "Hey, chaps, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend, Yoko."7)August 15, 1953: Future songwriter Jimmy Webb forgets his slice of birthday cake outside. Moments later, it begins to rain.8)November 3, 1987: Knowing how much her kids loved "Star Wars," a naive Tipper more...

The typical Internet user receives an average of 17,000 email messages per year. Of this total, an average of one message actually contains useful information (it says: 'Disregard previous email'). The rest are porno ads, investment opportunities for morons ('Make Big Money Petting Kittens At Home!'), and jokes that were originally set in movable type by Johann Gutenberg. -Dave Barry
Technically, Windows is an 'operating system,' which means
that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that
it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop
operating. -Dave Barry
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.
We cause accidents. -Nathaniel Borenstein
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is more...