55-year Jokes / Recent Jokes

A 55-year old woman is in a coma in the hospital. She isn't doing well at all. Her family is standing by her, waiting for her to pass away. The woman is now seconds from passing away when she sees a light; and a big tunnel. She floates way up high to the other end of the tunnel where she sees God.
"I can't believe I'm dead", the woman sadly says.
"What?!", says God,"Your not dead, you won't die untill your 85."
The woman then floats back down the tunnel. She awakens from her coma with joy and happiness from the family. She thinks, "Well, if I don't die for another 15 years, and I'm in the hospital right now, I can probably do some stuff that I have always wanted to do.
So, the woman gets her hair colored. She lets it grow long; all the way to the ground. She increases her breast sizes. She also had plastic surgery to get all those horrible wrinkles off her face.
A few days later, the woman is ready to leave the hospital. She more...