Accuses Jokes / Recent Jokes

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman. If you don't, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying. If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, she is abused. If you don't, you are not understanding.
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'. If you don't, you are half a man.
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring. If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well-dressed, she says you are a playboy. If you aren't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it's bad. If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her.
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her. If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it is hard to wait. If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel. If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'.
If you kiss her once more...

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another woman, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another man, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she more...

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman. If you don't, you are not a man.If you praise her, she thinks you are lying. If you don't, you are good for nothing.If you agree to all her likes, she is abused. If you don't, you are not understanding.If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'. If you don't, you are half a man.If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring. If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.If you are well-dressed, she says you are a playboy. If you aren't, you are a dull boy.If you are jealous, she says it's bad. If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her.If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her. If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.If you are a minute late, she complains it is hard to wait. If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel. If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'.If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold. If you more...

"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do..."
(especially when you share the same major!)
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconciliation and/or curses G-d
ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
THEATRE: "OH MY G-D! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "HE did it!"
BUSINESS: Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the more...

The first day of bear hunting season and the hunter is walking down the trail. He comes to a clearing and sees a very large bear in plain sight and takes a shot. When the smoke clears he looks and does'nt see the bear. Suddenly he feels something tapping him on the shoulder, It is the bear and the bear accuses him of trying to shoot him. The hunter denies this repeatedly but the bear makes the hunter pull down his pants and bend over a log where the bear has his way with the hunter. The bear finishes and goes on his way.
The next morning the hunter is ready for a little payback. He is walking down the same trail and sees the same bear. This time the hunter cleans his sight and takes better aim. When the smoke clears he looks and finds the bear gone again. He throws his rifle down and starts cursing. Then the hunter feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear again accuses the hunter of trying to shoot him. The hunter persistently denies until the bear makes him pull down his pants and more...