Acid Jokes / Recent Jokes
Then: Killer Weed Now: Weed Killer Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it’s cool Now: Moving to California because it’s warm Then: Being called into the principal’s office Now: Storming into the principal’s office Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: Getting your head stoned Now: Getting your headstone Then: “Going blind” Now: REALLY going blind Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President Now: Fighting to keep the lying President Then: The perfect high Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund Then: Elvis in the army Now: Elvis in a UFO Then: Keg Now: EKG
Then: Long Hair
Now: Longing for hair
Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.
Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.
Then: Acid Rock.
Now: Acid Reflux.
Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.
Then: Growing pot.
Now: Growing pot belly.
Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.
Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.
Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints, aching joints.
Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.
Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed more...
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"What happened?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?"
"Oh, that was easy. I charged one and let the other off."
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
In 1993, sometime in December, a customer walks in with a dead PowerBook.
Fault description: hangs on startup. An additional symptom provided was: whilst being carried from the customer's site to our service center, a 'sloshing' noise was heard within the machine.
"Has anything been split on this computer?" I inquired, but no, nothing of the sort had happened, protested the client vehemently. Taking this with a grain of salt (no one's going to admit doing something that totally invalidates their warranty and effectively wrecks their computer) I went about filling in the repair order.
Back on the bench, I started the PowerBook up. Sure enough, an address error on startup, just after 'Welcome to Macintosh'. I lowered my ear to the keyboard, at which point I heard a crackling noise (couldn't hear any sloshing noise though) and became aware of a rather 'sharp' odor which seemed to emanate from the inside of the machine.
Flicking the computer off and unplugging more...
Knock Knock Who's there? Aardvark! Aardvark who? Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles! Knock Knock Who's there? Aaron! Aaron who! Aaron on the side of caution! Knock Knock Who's there? Acid! Acid who? Acid down and be quiet! Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch! Knock Knock Who's there? Adam! Adam who? Adam if I do and adam if I don't!