Killer Jokes

What the world is like in TV land:
1. If a women is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
2. Your car will always start immedaitely unless you are being chased
by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
4. The suburbs are exciting.
5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
8. Good guys are always good looking.
9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
12. Court cases are all solved with a suprise witness.
13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
15. Everyone has a 'dark' secret.
16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
17. Haunted houses are never locked.
18. The police are smart.
19. more...

A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his tub. The tub had been filled with milk, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks.

Police suspect a cereal killer.

What hired killer never goes to jail? The exterminator.

What the world is like in TV land:
1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
2. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
4. The suburbs are exciting.
5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
8. Good guys are always good looking.
9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
12. Court cases are all solved with a surprise witness.
13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
15. Everyone has a dark secret.
16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
17. Haunted houses are never locked.
18. The police are smart.
19. Good more...

Then: Long Hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid Rock.
Now: Acid Reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: Growing pot.
Now: Growing pot belly.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints, aching joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with Fidel.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed more...