Acres Jokes / Recent Jokes

28> Natalie Woods

27> Dickdale

26> Fredo Heights

25> Landfilladelphia

24> Mindyour Manors

23> Parton's Hills

22> Peckerwood

21> Polter Heights

20> York Hunt

19> Crapistrano

18> Marilyn Mansions

17> San Semillia

16> Thunderbird Estates

15> Dot Commons

14> Belly Acres

13> Downwind Chalupa Manor

12> Rich Olde Whitehaven

11> Tim Meadows

10> Snobschwitz

9> Tartar Crest

8> The Runs

7> Foxworthy Mobile Estates

6> Hoffa's End

5> Old Indian Burial Ground Acres

4> Burning Stream

3> Run Forest Run

2> Boxer Trails

1> Morningwood

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
-' 66 Ford Fairlane
-' 69 Chevrolet Chevelle
-' 64 Pontiac GTO 3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product? 4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees? 5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer? 6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch more...

An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. The auditor, being very diligent, noted that the value of the sheep formed a significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew that he would have to verify that asset. He chartered an aircraft and flew up to the station. The manager was at the airstrip to meet him."Hello," he said. "Im the auditor. Ive come to count the sheep."