Act Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Caught in the Act:
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:' Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Burning with anger, but thinking the husband could only dig himself deeper; she turned, and with ice in her voice, said:' FINE.'
'Well, on the bus home, I met this young girl. She looked poor and tired, so I offered her a ride from the transit station. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that old birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. Her pants were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit more...
1. The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for allies.
2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress)
3. At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was Called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". All three were soon changed for PR purposes.
4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions your chance of being killed was 71%.
5. Generally speaking there was no more...
1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum". 3. Around 3: 20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss's desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out "what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art". 6. Go into the other gender's bathroom without fear of being caught. 7. Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will come so you can have someone to talk to. 8. Leave prank messages on the CEO's voice mail. 9. Finally, a chance to live out a dream and pretend to be your boss. 10. Elevator surfing!
Dumb Indiana laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.
Indiana Crazy Law Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
It is illegal to sell cars on more...