Address Jokes / Recent Jokes

During USC's commencement, the President was giving his usual address to the graduating class. While he was giving his address, some people in the back began to chant, "Graduate Bubba, graduate Bubba." After a few minutes, the chant grew so loud that the President could no longer continue with his address. He says, "Alright, I give up. Bubba, come on up here." This really huge offensive lineman comes up on stage. The President asks, "Are you Bubba?" Bubba replies quietly, "Yes sir."
"How long have you been here at USC Bubba?"
"Six years sir."
"Six years and you still haven't graduated?"
"No sir."
"Alright Bubba, I'll tell you what. If you can answer one question correctly, I'll graduate you right here on the spot. Is that fair?"
Bubba once again says in his quiet voice, "Yes sir." So the President then asks him, "Ok Bubba, what's nine times nine?" Bubba more...

McDonald, who was very sad, met his friend Sandy in the street.

He said to his friend, “I cannot make up my mind whether to marry a wealthy widow whom i don’t love or a poor girl whom i love very much. ”

Sandy said, “My dear friend, I advise you to listen to your heart and marry the poor girl that you love. ”

“You are right. I will marry the poor girl. ”

“In that case, can you give me the widow’s address? ”

Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address.

Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it.

Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on.
The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.

All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn't drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.

Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and more...

Dear Son

I am writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happened within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with then to there next house so they wont have to change there address, I wish the I have thought of that.

This place has a small washing machine. the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

It only rained twice this week- three days the first time and four days the second.

The coat you wanted me to send you; your aunt sue said it was too heavy to send it by mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Don't tell anyone.

We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill; up she comes. Luck we have a more...

REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICAL
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person whoanswered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?" I worked with an individual who plugged theirpower strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why theircomputer would not turn on."Do you know anythingabout this fax-machine?"
"A little. What'swrong?"
"Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient calledback to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
"How did you load the sheet?"
"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it byaccident. So I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it." I recently saw a distraught young lady weepingbeside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
"I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now Ican't more...

Have you got the address of the butter website? Yes, but don't spread it around.

CHUCKLE ONE ~
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate
with orders to let no car enter unless it displayed
a special sticker.
A long, black car drove up carrying a general.
"Halt, who goes there?" Challenged the sentry.
The chauffeur, a corporal, replied, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry," the sentry said. "I can't let you through
without a special sticker on your vehicle."
The general ordered the corporal to drive on.
"Halt!" The sentry shouted. "You really cannot
drive through without a sticker. I have orders
to shoot, if you persist in trying to drive. "
"I'm telling you, corporal," the general repeated.
"DRIVE ON!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window, and
leaned forward to address the general.
Sir! I'm new at this." He said. "Do I shoot you
or the driver?"

~ CHUCKLE TWO more...