Address Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while more...
Top 15 Signs That You've Had Too Much Of the 90's
15. You try to enter your password on the microwave
14. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
13. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
12. You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back ''What's for dinner?''
11. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
10. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
9. Your daughter just bought on CD, all the records your college roommate used to play that you most despised.
8. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.
7. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now sells for half the price you paid.
6. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
5. more...
Dear
Redneck Son;
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't
read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your
dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen
within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the
last Arkansas family that lived here took the house
numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have
to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing
machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last
week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't
seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice
last week; the first time for three days and the second
time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle
Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail
with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them
in the pockets.
John locked his keys in more...
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from home, so we
moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved
so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure
it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the
chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first
time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut
them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
because it more...
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the NationText from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum. 10. 16 P. m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998Good evening. This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to testify before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury. I answered their questions truthfully whenever there was compelling physical evidence that would contradict my lies, including questions about having sex while watching an intern do kinky things that I now spin as being part of my private life, questions so embarrassing that no American citizen would ever want to answer. Still, the polls indicate that I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight and not ducking questions while the Marine Band plays loudly and drowns out the media. As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my more...
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife
flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his more...