Admit Jokes / Recent Jokes
How Dogs and Men are the same:
Both take up too much space on the bed
Both have irrational fears re vacuum cleaning
Both are threatened by their own kind
Both mark their own territory
Both are bad at asking questions
Neither tells you what is bothering them
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches
Neither does any dishes
Both fart shamelessly
Neither of them notice when you have a new haircut
Both like dominance games
Both are suspicious of the Postman
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone
Neither understands what you see in cats
How Dogs are BETTER than men
Dogs don't have a problem expressing affection in public
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong
Dogs admit when they are jealous
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out
Dogs don't play games with you except fetch (and they never laugh at the way you throw)
Dog don't feel threatened by your more...
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?
Gloria
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria
Many years agao, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod -one that did not admit Jews.
The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."
The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, "I'll have you know, I converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.
How was Jesus born?"
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And more...
Many years agao, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod -one that did not admit Jews.The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, "I'll have you know, I converted to your religion."The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.How was Jesus born?"Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.""Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger.""That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"Mrs. more...
Late one night, many years ago, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was
stranded at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod - one that did not admit
Jews.
The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The
hotel is full."
The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."
The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do
not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, "I'll have you know I
converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was
Jesus born?"
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a
little town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said more...
Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them. Andrew V. Mason