Adopted Jokes / Recent Jokes

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

There was a quirky breed of dinosaur called an "Adoptosaurus". Adoptosauruses laid eggs and often times forgot where they laid them or whose eggs were who's. Basically, they "adopted" the eggs they found and claimed them as their own.
Adoptosauruses didn't eat meat because it wasn't apart of their dino-religion. They thought eating meat made dinosaurs fat and have wrinkly skin. Adoptosauruses ate flowers because they thought it made them smell good. They thought they were the best of all the dinosaurs.
Maybe they went extinct so fast because their babies got hungry and ate each other, or the T-rexes found them and ate them, or maybe they were just stupid dinosaurs that adopted their own eggs.

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a lovely lass for the job.
She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quite.
"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."
She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.
After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she more...

After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant." The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well. After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that more...