Adult Jokes / Recent Jokes
An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites.
She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.
Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.
After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there the old guy is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old more...
Q) what does a moped and a fat woman have in common?
A)they're good for a ride until your mates find out!
Q)what does a condom and kodak have in common?
A) they both capture the moment!
Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow
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yo momma's like a door knob, every one get a turn
yo momma's like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw
yo momma's like a light switch, easy to turn on
yo momma's like a tv, a two year old can turn her on.
yo momma is so desperate she told me that she would give me a blow job for a quarter.
yo momma is so horny she's on the fence sayin' here kitty kitty.
A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt.
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" she shouts. "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!"
The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women have teeth down below.
By the time he reaches 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invites him over for a little action.
After a few hours of making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit further.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" while pointing to her privates.
"HELL NO!" he cries. more...
A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there.' This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two people doing 12-hour shifts.'
The new man is only too happy to help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean horizon for any ships. Soon, the husband and wife start placing stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper.
The new man yells down,' Hey, no screwing!' They look at each other and yell back,' We're not screwing!' A few minutes later, they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again, more...
Three children pass a lit, open window and look in.
"Look, look," says the 4 year old, "there is a couple in bed there and they are wrestling."
"No, no," says the 5 year old, "they are making love."
And the 6 year old chimes in: "And badly."
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"