Advice Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year.
"Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs."
"FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?"
Mark agreed to ask.
A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order.
"Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you have frog legs?"
"But of course!" replied the waiter, proud of the quality of his restaurant.
Mark turned a shade of white. It was true!
"Are you okay, sir?"
"I'm... fine," more...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the
exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed more...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

A man entered a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doctor, you must help me," he pleaded. "I just can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" inquired the doctor.
"I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, and no matter what I do, I seem to scare them away."
"This is not a serious problem," the doctor said, reassuringly. "You need to work on improving your low self-esteem. Each morning when you get up, I want you to run to the bathroom mirror and tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But, you must say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll find that women will be buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with the doctor's advice and left the office a little excited.
Three weeks later, he returned with the same depressed expression on his face.
"Didn't my advice work?" the doctor more...

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person - but say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office quite excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.
"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life more...