Afraid Jokes / Recent Jokes
A few minutes before the church services start the parishioners are sitting
in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appears at the front of the
church. Everyone starts screaming and running for the door, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon
everyone is gone except for an elderly gentleman sitting calmly in his pew,
seemingly unaware that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence.
Satan walks up to the old man and asks, "Don't you know who I am?"
"Yep," the old guy replies, "sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asks.
"Nope, sure ain't." says the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"
"Don't doubt it for a minute." says the old man.
"Don't you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying, physical
AGONY for all eternity??" persists Satan.
"Yep." is the calm reply.
"And more...
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon everyone is evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The more...
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."
Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.
Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.
Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"
The man says, "Yep, sure do."
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"
The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."
Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother asked him to go out to the back porch and get the broom for her.
"Mommy, I don't want to go out there. It's too dark," he said.
"There's no reason to be afraid of the dark," his mother said reassuringly. "Jesus is out there. He'll watch over you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother with a very serious expression and asked, "Are you sure he's out there mommy?"
"Yes, I'm sure," replied his mother. "Jesus is everywhere. He's always ready to help you when you need him."
The little boy thought about it for a moment, went to the back door and opened it a crack. Peering out into the still darkness, he whispered, "Psssst, Jesus? If you're out there, could you pass me the broom?"