Broom Jokes

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war games.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.
He grabbed a broom and handed it to the solder. "Here us this instead."
"How is this going to work?"
"When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity Bang Bang'".
So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, I can't find my bayonet!"
The Lieutenant grabbed a pencil off his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just hold this up and say 'Stabity Stab Stab.'"
So the private was all ready for his war games. He was sitting in his fox hole minding his own more...

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark.”The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don't have to be afraid of the
dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you.”The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he's out there?”“Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you're out
there, would you please hand me the broom?”

Q: What do little ghosts drink?
A: Evaporated milk.
Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams.
Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A: ''How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?''
Q: What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
A: Ghost toasties with booberries.
Q: What's soft, moldy and flies?
A: A spoiled bat.
Q: What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
A: ''You're under a vest!''
Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
A: He had to give it back.
Q: Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
A: He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: A dead ringer.
Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
A: I'd like to get to gnaw you.
Q: Which more...

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go' Bangety Bang Bang'."
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go,' Stabity Stab Stab'."
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts more...