Bang Jokes

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I
have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do
you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I
have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally
picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.

When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the
stream. He raised his umbrella and went,' bang, bang' and the
rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war games.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.
He grabbed a broom and handed it to the solder. "Here us this instead."
"How is this going to work?"
"When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity Bang Bang'".
So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, I can't find my bayonet!"
The Lieutenant grabbed a pencil off his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just hold this up and say 'Stabity Stab Stab.'"
So the private was all ready for his war games. He was sitting in his fox hole minding his own more...

What is a cow's favorite TV show? Dr Moo! Why was the farmer hopping mad? Because someone had trodden on his corn! What would happen if bulls could fly? You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up! What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud? A sheep that's under the weather! Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed! What goes' peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'? A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons! What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig? A groundhog! How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance! What do you call a joke book for chickens? A yolk book!

Knock knock
whose there?
willy
willy who?
willy he bang me harder?

ZIPPERGATE IN MOVIE TITLES PG 13
Subject: Executive Decision, True Lies, Beauty and the Beast,. ...

**Disclaimer: The following story, though based on a true story contains altered or questionable facts and statements. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, if in fact there are any. **

This is The Never Ending Story of a 9 To 5, Working Girl, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, to Youngblood. He had a Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, and liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.

Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities, The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations.

It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind, a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business, Dangerous Ground. Till now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, more...