Akbar Jokes

Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar, the more...

An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, looked up towards the sky and said Alhamdulillah!
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, more...

Gujarat Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam

Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and more...

Gujarat Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam Time Limit: 3 Weeks 1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one) 5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners 9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton 10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar, the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five. more...

One of the glorious Caliph Akbar's massive Durbars (Congregations) has just ended. Mukunda Deva Telinga, Caliph Akbar's recently-appointed Dravidian Subahdar (Governor) of Telingana and Orissa, retires to the hammam-bath. After a short while, Moollah Do-Pyaza and Raja Man Singh, two of the Navratans ("Nine Jewels") of the court, enter the same bath. Astonished by the gigantic size of the Dravidian man's abnusi (ebony) genitals, Moolla Do Pyaza points down at Mukunda Telinga's one-foot long Big Black Dravidian penis and tells Raja Man Singh, "By Allah! Look at the size of that Kala Shudra Lund (black Sudra penis)!"
At this the Telinga retorts, "Doesn't the Aryan man's Lingammu (penis) shrink while in cold neeru (water) ?"