Alabama Jokes / Recent Jokes
Texas had to use three quarterbacks in their 37-21 loss to Alabamain the National Championship game last night. This just goes toshow: it took three people from Texas last night to throw the game.
Segregation has reared it's ugly head once again. This time, on the hit TV show Survivor. In the latest installment, tribes are separated along racial lines, Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian. It's rumored that during filming, a Typhoon struck the Cook Island. The whites were evacuated, and the blacks were left to sit on the roofs of their huts.
Several years ago the city of Birmingham decided to lease several English style double decker buses to transport the Auburn and Alabama fans to the Iron bowl. On this bus, the Auburn fans were on the bottom level and the Alabama fans were on the top deck. as we started off to the stadium, all of the Auburn fans were making a lot of noise yelling "War Eagle" and having a good time. We noticed that the Alabama fans were quiet. Not a sound was coming from the upper deck.
I decided to go up top and see what was wrong. As I arrived up top, I noticed that all of the Alabama fans had their hands clasped on the rail in front of them and they all were white as a sheet. I was stunned. I asked them why they all were so frightened?
They replied with fear in their eyes, "WE DON`T HAVE A DRIVER".
Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
A. Wear a Bama jersey!
Q. How did the Alabama student die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q. Why do Alabama students have TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First!
Q. Did you hear about the Alabama quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
Q. What is the one thing that keeps so many Alabama football players from graduating?
A. CLASSWORK!
Q. Did you hear about the Alabama fan who froze to death?
A. He went to the drive in... He sat through "Closed for the season"!!
Q. How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza!
Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, "I`m cutting the next Christmas tree we find, lights or no lights."
Q. more...
An Irishman, a Mexican and an Alabama redneck were doing construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating
lunch and the Irishman said, " Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef
and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump
off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The Alabama redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I
get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and
cabbage and jumps to his death. the Mexican opens his lunch, sees a
burrito and jumps too. The Alabama redneck opens his lunch, sees the
bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral - The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I more...
This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"