Alaska Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sarah Palin said she meant no disrespect after she was photographed wearing a hat on which Sen. John McCain's name had been blacked out. Palin explained that she was trying to remain "incognito" while vacationing in Hawaii. Interestingly, Palin ran into another person with a blacked out hat--a Mets fan.

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! Knock Knock Who's there? Ahmed! Ahmed who? Ahmedeus Motzart! Knock Knock Who's there? Alaska! Alaska who? Alaska my friend the question then! Knock Knock Who's there? Alfred! Alfred who! Alfred of the dark! Knock Knock Who's there? Alma! Alma who? Alma not going to tell you!

A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough. The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. Second, he had to wrestle with a grizzly bear. And last, he had to make love to an Athabascan Indian woman." No problem," said the cheechako, and off he went. He hired himself a guide, and soon had dispatched his first duty. Then they found the grizzly bear. The cheechako chased the bear into a cave. The most awful roaring and screaming emitted from that cave, along with blood and fur. Finally, the cheechako staggers out of the cave. "Okay," he said to the guide. "Where's that Indian woman I'm supposed to wrassle!"

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this bulletin…
“Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.
We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper. ”

Apparently, she's unable to raise her right hand and recite the oath at the same time.

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy
rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"
Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we
finally get to ask him."
The next day, they're all standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front
of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go
ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"
The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me,
young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."
The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.
Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"
The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."
The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"
The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey more...

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when
Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"
Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."
The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"
The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?"
Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."
The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.
Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"
The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."
The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"
The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, more...