Alex Jokes / Recent Jokes
Tennis Elbow
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be more...
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Alex, the computer guy, to come over. Alex clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, ''So, what was wrong?''
He replied, ''It was an ID ten T error.''
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: ''An ID ten T error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again?''
Alex grinned... ''Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''
''No,'' I replied.
''Write it down,'' he said, ''and I think you'll figure it out.''
So I wrote out... I D 1 0 T
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alexplain later now let me in.
George, Robin and Alex are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter. "Ok you, George, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" "Let me be honest Peter. I`ve been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life". "Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye." St. Peter turns to Robin, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??" Robin replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here are the keys. Get going!" He then looks at Alex, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" Alex lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!" St Peter replies, "Very impressive. more...
True Story about my 14 month old grandson, Alex: We took him to the local mall shopping one day, and used a' kiddy harness' to keep track of him, since he's an active little dickens and loves to walk and explore. As we stood watching the marvel of the escalator, a teenager headed up the stairs and said, quite loudly, "Look at that kid, he looks like a little dog on a leash." Alex promptly looked at him and said, "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"
It`s gotten so bad that even Alex Keaton would have shifted parties and voted for me this year.