Ali Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe? Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 more...

When Ali, the sheik's most devoted eunuch, died unexpectedly in the middle of the night, the potentate's teen-aged son asked his father how this unhappy event had come to pass.
"My son," said the sheik, "Ali's death teaches us a valuable lesson. Last night, upon retiring, I commanded him to hasten to my harem and select for my pleasure the one most beautiful among the hundred houris waiting there. He returned with surprising swiftness with a ravishing brunette, but this tasty morsel merely whetted my appetite for further amour, so I summoned Ali again and told him to fetch forth the most sensual female of the harem. This time he returned even more quickly- though the harem is a considerable distance from my quarters, as you know -with a female whose hair was red as flame, with a passion to match.
"This erotic creature further increased my desire and I instructed Ali to have the most innocent maiden he could find brought to my bedchamber; he reappeared more...

Knock Knock Who's there? Agatha! Agatha who? Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin? Knock Knock Who's there? Agnes! Agnes who? Agnes, Topeka, and the Santa Fe! Knock Knock Who's there? Alfred! Alfred who! Alfred the needle if you sew! Knock Knock Who's there? Ali! Ali who? Ali, Ali oxen free! Knock Knock Who's there? Alice! Alice who? I'm Alice chasing rainbows....!

Knock KnockWhos there! Ali! Ali who? Ali-luyah, at last youve opened the door!

Two Malaysian mats are walking along Boon Lay Road when they see a sign which reads:' Suits $5. 00 each, shirts $2. 00 each, trousers $2. 50 per pair'. Ali says to his pal, "Gerek, sial! We could buy a whole lot and when we get back to Johor, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you diam-diam, okay? Just let me do all the talking' cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Singapore accent." They go in and Ali orders 50 suits at 5. 00 each, 100 shirts at 2. 00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2. 50 each. The owner of the shop says, "You're from Malaysia, aren't you?" "Oh,. .. yes," says a surprised Ali. "How come you know that?" The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaners."