Alley Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm ex..."

Same alley, same function, but a different operator:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm ex..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy."

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

There is a blonde a brunette and a red head and they are being chased by cops. Well they decide to run into an alley.
The brunette jumps into a trash can, the red head jumps into a dumpster and the blonde jumps into a sack of potatos.
The cops run down the alley and notice that nobody is around. One cop kicks the trash can and the brunette says "Meow". Another cop kicks the dumpster and the red head says "Woof". Another cop kicks the sack of Potatos and the blonde says "POTATOS".

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck at one end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house an older woman was looking out her kitchen window watching the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figure I'd better run too!"

One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said, "Why not put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Good thinking. Thanks," the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking, he met a lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1725 Willoughby Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1835 Willoughby Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The lady replied, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, more...