"Picking Up Supplies" joke

One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said, "Why not put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Good thinking. Thanks," the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking, he met a lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1725 Willoughby Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1835 Willoughby Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The lady replied, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
"Oh please, lady," the farmer replied. "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, a goose, and two chickens. How on earth could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!"

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...

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2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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